When Things Go Wrong.

Nobody prays for it, but one of life’s inevitabilities is, that try as we might prevent it, things will at some point go wrong. Life is full of ups and downs and its no news to anybody that on the whole, you’ve gotta take the bad with the good. Still though, people often don’t take the bad too good.

I’m feeling all life skill oriented at the moment… so… lemme help you get your mind right…

There will always be something that can turn up and potentially steal your joy. Sometimes there doesn’t even have to be a thing. It might just be the way you woke up, anything. You might just be in one of those moods on one of those days.

Usually, at the far end of things when there is actual pain or misery derived from what you are dealing with. It’s a pain that is attached to us at first by our subconscious and our conscious mind. As you know, pain is our brains way of telling us that we don’t like what’s happened to us and/ or it wasn’t good for us so it gives you pain so that you don’t do it again.

Even when it’s emotional ‘pain’ it’s just like the pain you receive when you put your hand too close to the fire.

Think about it, when your hurt about something, -unless you’re the type who wallows in their pain-, do you tell yourself to feel bad, or find it difficult to eat or sleep or similar?
No.

What has happened is your conscious mind at some point let your subconscious know that what ever hurt you was important, normally by making it subject of much of your focus. It may be an exam you were preparing for, or an outcome you were waiting on. The more you thought about it the more it stuck to your subconscious, Attatching with it all the associated feelings you placed next to it’s success or failure.

So when the thing goes wrong, even when you’re over the initial shock or disappointment, your subconscious mind is still dealing with it. Trying to alarm your whole body that the important thing has gone wrong and at the moment, it’s chief priority is to consistently remind you of this, which will explain why you cant, shake the feeling even when you would like to.

After all you spent so much time feeding it with whatever the thing was when you wanted it to go right, now you’re subconscious is just repaying the favour.

When this happens though, there is a sure fire way to quickly beat the problem.

First of all, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Satisfy your subconscious by submissively/ but naturally allowing yourself to actually respond to the upset that you are feeling. However, it’s important to consciously remind yourself that you are ‘allowing yourself to feel this’, keeping you in control.

Also keep firmly in mind that you will not allow yourself to feel this forever. In fact, identify in your mind what you feel would be a reasonable amount of time to feel upset by it. In this time you can think about what went wrong and be upset or whatever. Then when you get about half way into that time, start to make a plan of action in which you actively attempt to reverse whatever the issue is. Think of a few ACHIEVEABLE outcomes that would turn the bad situation into a good one and map it out in your mind. Don’t do anything with it yet; just build the map as clearly and concisely as you can.

Then do something NOW, which will make you FEEL happy. NOW! Just do it. Eat, exercise, dance, get some air, talk to a human being, watch a comedy... anything that makes you feel good. I recommend getting up and doing something as a pose to a movie under a duvet. Getting your blood flowing releases natural chemicals in your body, which naturally make you feel good.

Doing this should actively conquer whatever feeling you had about whatever went wrong. What’s more you’ll have done it in a way that is not just bottling up things as a coping mechanism short term neither have you just repressed what you have being feeling. What you have done is dealt with the situation and associated feeling on three different and very important levels.

Firstly you have allowed yourself to ‘grieve’ and thus allowed yourself freedom of expression and the opportunity to actually mark your ‘sadness’ as a pose to glossing other it.
Then, by planning a course of redemptive action, you have given yourself practical steps which will satisfy your subconscious helping your brain to stop reminding you how bad things are as there is a path to something as good or better.

You’re subconscious can get out of panic mode when it can identify an achievable positive solution. This will stop you feeling down or helpless about the situation and give some good old-fashioned positive hope. This is only enhanced when you get up and get your pheromones flowing, instantly making you feel good about yourself, knocking away the current bad feeling and enhancing your anticipation about whatever plans you’ve made.

Wonderbar!!!

Bad things will always happen, and if you wait for them to fix themselves before you allow yourself to feel good. Then not only will you be feeling bad for an unquantifiable amount of time, but you’ll also be ‘hella-pissed’ when you realise life isn't waiting for your ‘bad situation’ to fix itself and something else as bad or worse comes along.

Ever felt under the weather and that the hits just kept on coming? Yeah, thought so!

I say stay ahead of the game, and keep a smile on your face by taking things head on and realising that while situations may vary and seem wildly different. The associated feelings are often the same. Frustration is frustration whether you haven’t got a job after 5 years searching, or you delete all your phone contacts… or your car wont start.

Sure they vary in degrees, but the root feeling is the same. Anger is anger, sorrow is sorrow, and glee is… a television show.

So realise whatever you feel you’ve probably felt it before at some level and you’ll probably feel it again. So knowing that time WILL heal and the feeling WILL pass, why spend longer in the feeling than you need to. A little perspective goes a long way, so when things go wrong, just know that your just ‘perspective’ away, from putting things right!

Life get’s better the longer you live it, so long as you better the life that you live.
Peace