Cloud £9M

My name is Deola Sulola.

And I JUST WON £10.54 million!!!

Naturally, i'm pretty excited about it. When i first got the little e-mail on my blackberry that The National Lottery has  'some news about my ticket'. I went back to bed, I know the drill, I probably won £10, £20 or maybe even £80. Nice I suppose, but nothing to crack the laptop open for.

Life resumed as usual.

I guess it's fair to say that it only served to make things even more immense when I finally logged in to be told I'd won the jackpot. how do you pronounce R. E. S. U. L. T!

The odds, in the millions. but, someone seems to win every week and there has been a lot of weeks in my life. so erm, this ones mine!

It's hard to describe the feeling as it starts to sink in, the knot in your stomach as it tightens and loosens simultaneously or the waves of guilt and nausea which give a way to genuine fear.

'things like this don't happen to me... something bad must be around the corner?!? 

Well, when i'm at a loss in life (haha loss!!) or if i'm in an unknown or unfamiliar situation. I like to create a reference point and map my way out. Here, my only yard stick was that I have always told myself in countless thoughts that on the day of my first million. I will go out 'running and screaming and throwing up everywhere'! 

I ran. I screamed. I threw up everywhere.

Once the nervous energy is gone, and it really is a lot of nervous energy. Time begins to move really slowly. Like 'Fat man in the cake isle in sainsburys' slow. Nigerian movie (gospel music in the background) timeline transition slow. Titus Bramble slow. 

Its almost impossible to endure with the millions of thoughts (aaahhh £££millions) running through my mind. Cue insomnia, intense privacy and a chronic need to get out of the house.

Everything feels like a test, driving suddenly feels so much more perilous. I dont want to die now, not before i've drank from the platinum cup of sweet wealth. Nostalgia too, kicks in, I find myself looking back at my actions and balancing things off. All the people I hurt, all the things or people that hurt me, all the desperate, dire and broke-minded things i did when penniless. All those times I was there for, or gave to people. Put it all on a scale and...yeah, definitely reckon I was in due credit around £10.54M!!!

After pulling out from my past, and wondering just how fast it would all catch up with me, I begin to look to the future. In honesty, mapping it out and planning ahead are the first things that give me peace about it all. There is a calming assurance that comes with knowing what you want and that you can easily work towards it. I write it here to give myself some accountability, to erm, you. This money will change me, but only in ways that I want it to.

They say money magnifies the man. So if you see me small now, here's what may be all up in your face shortly!.

Well, I have decided I will continue to work, I do a rewarding job where i can make a genuine and tangible impact. Sure I may take time off now and then to contribute time and energy to my other causes. but i wont leave. Infact I will still collect my pay and after my initial spending spree, which will be on a house a car and family donations, I will live off my salary and interest, only.

There are a couple business plans I've made which will also get off the ground. So I'll also have money put aside for that.

I don't think it will be obvious to everyone that i'm filthy stinking rich. I used to think i'd want to have an helicopter sitting on my roof. And that i'd have to buy a second helicopter just so people looking at my house when I'm IN the helicopter wont think i'm 'helicopter-less'. But i wont do that, not immediately, people might think that was over indulgent.

Im going to put away 4million in a high interest bank which I cant touch for 23 years. then i'm going to spend another 4million on Bonds, stocks and T-bills. The other money will be to use as i please, I'll give at least £25K to each household in my family. (I don't want to interfere with their lives, but i want to help... I may try and give them money discreetly so they don't know its from me?) 'Kanye shrug'

I met a Multi-millionaire at work this week and I liked his style. It was a smart, casual and elegant look. which seemed to say "You cannot say for sure how much money I have... but you wouldn't argue with whatever amount i told you!" So yeah, i'm going for that look. 

Eventually I want a tennis court, swimming pool and all round entertainment room, but that's only going to happen once I have used the money to make money off of my own ideas and hard work.

Lottery money is starter money.... it's not really the same... I've got to make mine!

'God bless the child that has his own'

So, my life should be sooo different now, and i guess it is. Still a slave to tiredness, hunger, gravity and the confines of time.

But hey, I have right now what most people spend there entire lives wishing for.

And all i ever crave right now, is the right feeling at the right time and a peaceful life. Things which money isn't always a part of.

But hey, if you've read this far, you're probably really happy for me, right? well, in two weeks time on a Friday I'm going out to celebrate. I really hope you will join me... its gonna be a mad one!! I'll let you know the details soon.

Till then, all the best and remember.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Signing out...

No Time Like The Present.

My name is Deola,

I have been threatening to begin a blog for two years.
I have been aiming to finish writing a book for three years.
I have been preparing to share my works and writings at shows and events wherever they might have me. perennially.
I have been waiting.
Procrastinating.
Wasting.

I can speak with almost as much confidence for the majority of my generation as I can for myself when I say we are a people who like to 'wait for things to happen.'

We are much more reactive than active and for some reaction only stretches as far to mean we go in the direction the wind blows us, which isn't really reaction at all, rather just, lightweight-subconsciential-compliance

If you talk to those around you, whether that be the person dearest to you or the stranger at the bus stop. Chances are they are waiting for something - and not just the bus.

In just how many conversations do we hear or say that we are tired and cant WAIT to go to sleep, that we cant WAIT to leave work, cant WAIT for christmas, or pay day, or dinner time, or ... Eastenders... (shrugs)

Others of us base our feelings on what we are waiting for, we will feel better when we 'find the love of our life' or pursue that dream that we actually have little intention of ever actually pursuing because the fear of failure far outweighs the anticipation of potential success.

Besides, sometimes it's better to have something we can just 'dream' about.

We wait, some of us JUST wait, with little thought or care towards what it is we are waiting for.
Something will change, something will come and break the monotony. If it doesn't, that's ok, we will again just wait. something will happen!

There is a quiet satisfaction about our waiting, which a lot of us would struggle to admit. After all, we go on day by day, often not feeling a day closer to anything that we have been 'waiting' for and yet there is no heightened urgency or increased efforts to bring them about, no thought that  , 'no, maybe this bus doesn't come here...'

It would be easy and on occasion, accurate, to say this is just the product of a lazy, Hollywood induced, fast food cultured generation. A generation void of genuine patience and good old fashioned work ethic.
A generation with so much choice and access available to us we don't know how to 'stick things through.' or ride out the rough patches. Yes all these things play there part in wait and procrastinate mentalities but I think there's a bit more to it, at least for some of us.

Its almost as if we have become too smart, or at least too preemptive for our own good. It's as if we know that             while we like to wait for things that will 'make us happy', we know they wont necessarily make us happy when they arrive. Built within us as children (for those of us who actually got presents) was that steaming anticipation of a gift coming, and then realising upon its arrival, that beyond the initial window of gratitude and glee that came from getting what we wanted. Eventually, we are left with an emptiness that could only be filled by the desire of something else, something more. That this window tends to get shorter and shorter the older we get perhaps partly explains why we struggle to commit to getting the things that we want... for fear we just might get them.

My Bishop, uses a metaphor to describe this, loosely quoted;
 'Peoples dreams are like seeds in their hands. A source of hope... an opportunity; while that seed is in their hands they have something to hold onto, something to believe in and fend of questions regarding what they might have in store for their future.

The problem is to get anything out of a seed you have to plant it. This means facing the reality that there will be a time, often a long one where your hands are empty and there is nothing to show for, nothing to show off. '

Which is quite frightening.

but invariably true.

We wait then, for something to happen with seeds in our hands and soil at our feet. Afraid to reach out and invest our potential. Still hoping, but a ridiculous hope, not quite a false hope because the potential is still there, but a hope deferred. Hopelessly deferred.


The truth is, as I see it, that waiting for an environment to change our demeanour is naive and counter-productive. What is worse is when we cling onto that idea without doing anything that will actually affect that environment.

so what's the solution?

 If there is such a thing.

well, frankly if you want to see something happen or change in your environment, start doing something now. plant the seed today.

if you want to see a change in yourself. Do it now, plant the seed today!

it's such a simple solution to a world of problems, but as you read think of the way you would like to feel in your life right now. why are you not feeling that way?

Its easier than you might think to feel how you want to feel. In the space between your ears you have the powers, just alone through manipulation of suspended-reality, to make your self happy, sad, angry or put yourself in fits of laughter all in the next 5 minutes if you choose to. Why not choose how you feel on a more regular basis?

You'd probably be surprised on how natural it quickly becomes.

Furthermore.

Think of that thing you've been wanting to do... Why, why on earth have you not started it?




I teach maths and mentor young students. Regularly I tell them this.

Maths, like life, is just a series of simple steps that can look complicated when they are together.

i.e if you break every thing down in maths, and indeed in life, to the smallest point. there is a 1+1 step. something you can do that brings you closer to your goals and solving the overall equation.

Find me a truer statement.

I Deola sulola have started my Blog.

What will you start TODAY?


Feel free to comment or whatever it is ppl do on blogs.
Adios,.,