Check Check One Two. (approaching a woman)

Testing... Testing.... is this thing on?

Now I ain't some sort of expert, but what I do know is how not to approach a woman.
FIrst off I wanna make this clear, most of the guys who would actually like to improve how they approach a woman are not jerks, they aint creeps just trying to get inside a womans pants.

Those guys are not really interested in improving what they do, they work on numbers. The more women they approach, the more likely they'll get a return. The percentage game, banking on the knowledge that eventually they'll find a girl who is; having self-esteem issues, straight up easy, fresh up on the rebound or just hasnt had their inbetween-relationship-dose of wasteman badboy.

They play the percentages and do their thing. good luck to them.

Seeing as that type of brother doesn't actually partake in menial tasks like 'reading' this is not for them.

This is for the guy who occasionally see's a girl he likes, would genuinely like to get to know her better and finally have a positive response to this rhetoric.
'yeah your doing well career wise, you got your head on your shoulders your a good guy... where's the lady in your life?'

A response other than a blank face, or some lame pacifier that attempts to mask internal frustration and self-pity.

See the thing about our waste counter parts, is that it's well known that they wreck the game for everybody. When a good looking, 'wifey/ wife' material girl has already had 27 over-confident guys trying it on -with their well practised, daily honed material- on the way to the bus stop before work. what chance does the good guy with his.... 'Hi I just wanted to...' feeble attempts to display genuinity have at holding her attention beyond a kiss of the teeth, a polite lie (I don't talk to guys, sorry') or just outright rude dismissal.

No chance... No chance at all.

The wastemen have killed it for everybody.

I know what your thinking if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Play the numbers game, roughen your edges up and stop being so passive. After all, everyone knows, the nice guy finishes last... and doesn't get the girl.
Well I got news for you, just before you lower your trousers, develop a 'bop' and start using the introductory term of 'Yo, my size!'

The nice guys don't finish last. Losers do.

There's probably a few blogs in that subject in itself discussing the loser like mentalities which are so generally misappropriated as being 'nice', but that's for another blog. what I will say for now is its perfectly achieveable to be a good guy, and incorporate the qualities, yes! qualities, that our waste counter parts so naturally use.

Disclaimer: I wouldn't want to claim to be the guy who can teach a guy how to 'run game'. There are countless books, journals and groups for that. I kind of think that when it gets to the point that you are intensely trying to figure out how to run game on girls you've got it all backwards anyway. These are just my thoughts on the matter, my ten pence. And sharing knowledge amongst the Mandem aiming towards general self- improvement in all areas is by all accounts healthy.

All I wanna do for now is help you out with how you approach a woman. Normal.

It's something I came up with a few years back and while it might not shake the world up. I thought back on it recently and agreed with myself that it made sense. I call it, the check check one two.

For anyone familiar with using microphones you'l know that getting the levels right is vital before proceeding, you'l also know that if you want to see if it's working, you don't just 'tap' a mike. (take from that what you will...) Nope, theres an arbitrary command that is used accross the land. 'Check, check 1, 2. testing...'

Here are the stages of how it works, note: it's all about creating comfort.

1. (first check) Right off, you need to have your radar working. I know that no-one wants to be the bait guy whose eyes... and head follow every attractive girl that walks by, but you at least gotta notice when it happens! The waste man's check is simple. 'does it have a bum? does it have breast? is it a woman?...Proceed!!!'
Well, if you're a serious guy your rules of attraction might go a little beyond that. Obviously though, your not going to see a woman's character or personality at a glance. The whole point of your approach is supposedly to create the opportunity for those to be shown in future. It may be that the situation allows for you to keep this check going for a sustained period of time so that you can see a little more of that in advance. That said, know what you're looking for, what you like and when you see her, proceed to the next check.

2. (second check) Assuming you've seen what you like and you're ready to make an approach, the next thing you've got to be aware of is where you are. Where she's is, why she's there and who and what is around her. Again, to the waste man this is not really that important. Whether she's running for a bus, dining with her mum, or front row in church really doesnt change the obviously nessessary call of 'Yo, My size!'.
You however are gonna come a little more correct than that, adapt to your environment. Acknowledge if she's in a conversation, actively engaged in an activity, or just looking pissed off. Sometimes, you'l see that now really isn't the time to proceed with any sort of introduction. Walking past the girl of your dreams on some dark isolated backstreets, might be one of those times. But, if you can take everything into account, and confidently spot the green light to go ahead. i.e That isn't her boyfriend standing two feet away... proceed to the next step.

3. one (from the one- two)

This is probably the most crucial step. This is the big set up, the sink or swim. Any boxers out there will know that a one- two is a bread and butter punch combination in the sport. The '1' is the jab that sets up the money '2' shot. The same applies here, this stage creates your opening. See the thing is, due to the consistent influx of watse material which is displayed to women, they are set up to not want to be approached. perfectly friendly and sociable women become Gaddafi's Amazonian guard to protect their right to not have to entertain nonsense chat up.

Therefore, to break that guard you have to not be considered a threat, one way to do this is to become overtly gay, another way is to have third party validation. Failing that, you hit 'em with the one- two.

All your going to do, is make a move to have the shortest possible interaction which makes NO suggestion to ANY form of interest. You are NOT going to flirt, compliment or converse. you are simply going to use the checks that you have done prior to form a short interaction. You are going to boldly affirm or suggest something and then walk away, or at least clearly be prepared to.

In short, you are introducing your face to her world, allowing it to register as none threatning and therefore enabling her to be herself and not shut you down. simple.

be interesting without appearing interested.

4. 'two'

This should be the part where you're 'in' and can relax and actually be yourself without fear of being shut down before you get the chance. This is WHY you approached her, or would have wanted to in the first place... at this point you've been brought to the water. Drink.

See, if you've played 'one' right then the next time you see, or are seen by this girl you are suddenly a familiar, none- threatening face. She may not even know why she knows you, but so long as your interaction was enough to make you memorable you should at least now sub-consciously be validated in her mind as not being a menace. And given the female psyche, with the fact that she now has some plausible deniability, she may even now be comfortable enough to approach you. (you know, being polite and all)

*For those that dont understand plausible deniability... basically, you've given her the mental comfort to allow herself to speak to you with her guard down without feeling 'easy'. After all, you're not chirpsing her are you, it's surprising how much people (guys and girls both) will change when they think there actions wont come back to hurt/ embarrass them.... Girls are ALL about the deniability.

Bear/ bare/ beer?!? in mind, depending on what you have gathered from step two, you will be able to decide how far after step 3 to play step 4. It could be for a completely different day if you discover you work or study close by. If you had spotted her at a place you will both likely be for a number of hours, it might just be that step 4 occurs later on in that same time period. If there is an obvious time- constraint, you'l have to use your judgement to leave enough of a gap to re-assert your self, but not so much that you appear intimidated. Or even roll it all into one... it's very possible.



Depending on who you are and where you are in your life, you might just nod in agreement. You might feel like you've learned something you wanted to hear for years or you might just think i've spelt out the blindingly obvious or something inherently flawed. You might see traces of this in your current game or how its a drawn out version of what you do, or think people should do in such situations. No biggie.

Just remember to up your game. It's getting tough for the real men and women to stand up and be counted. It'l only get worse when we don't know how to approach each other and, in essence, wind up being drawn too and partnered with the less serious but more forward men and women. Producing a generation of half-serious to un-serious kids. (bbm Can't watch face)

So what ever it is you do get your game tight. quit whining about how tough it is to meet someone and go out and do it. it's being done.


and remember, at each step she's .... 'testing... testing.'
(or at least she should be)
Don't fail the test.

(I'll Write a blog on how girls should 'TEST' the guy that's approaching her in the near future...)



It's been a long one... but here's my customary corresponding poem.


This ain't about a mike, or nothing of the like
this bout how you sensibly approach that girl you like
this bout how you delicately differ from the norm
let other brothers act, you perform
And form,
A different sort of connect.
cos some abort the respect
and others just neglect what is morally correct.
And leave the 'nice' guys to take the hits and hit the deck
turned down, by the girl who turned your head. in a sec.
but they say, where theres a will theres a way,
no need to be a jerk, nope no matter what they say
neither should you be hurt, if the girl should walk away
everybody on this earth has a right to choose the places where they pay
their attention.
so while I mention.
what you should do.
when you see the kinda lady that you might like to pursue
you haven't got a chance if you havent got a clue
so next time you see her coming, buss a CHECK' ONE TWO.





Check one-two, who got more style then son do?

Check one- two!

Love Me For My Money.

Honey,

You may as well love me for my money.

It's something I can grasp that is tangible and at least I'l always know how much you love me.

That's if you'll love me for my money.

Everybody loves someone for something right, no one loves someone 'just because.'

So love me for who I am, money being a big part of that. Its something I spend a significant amount of time chasing, amassing and accumulating, you may as well love me for it.

It's not that I don't want you to love me for my looks, handsome as I am, but these will fade. Try as I might to stay in shape and wrinkle free; what if your perception of beauty changes? what do I do then? When fats the new skinny, short is the new tall, and pretty is the new handsome.

What about when the dark skinned brother is out and an athletic physique is for losers?

What then?

I need more assurance than that.

It's not that I don't want you to love me for my personality either. After all, loving my strange, borderline schizophrenic characteristics shows the full limits of your love.
That you bundle my manly ambition with my childish foresight, my strong will with my weak scruples, my fascinating future with my shameful past; and still love me is a credit to you. You and your capacity to love me wholly, fully.

Yet I prefer that you love me for my money, its just so much simpler that way.

As my desires change and my qualities take on new shapes and identities.

As our relationship evolves and the years take their toll on our union,

When you forget what caused the initial spark between us long after it disappears, just take a look at our bank balance and remember you're in love.

I do, however, still want you to love me for all these perishable things. For all the different lights in which you see me. For my swagger, my kindness, my family, my friends.

It would be nice also if you see me in my element and feel your heart strings tug gently in response to how effortlessly I pulled it off (the event I'm in my element in), how natural it seemed. I'm kind of hoping that you'l notice this latest endeavour I have been successful in. How my clothes co-ordinate.

It would make it more worthwhile if you noticed. Noticed how kind I am to others when you are around, how good I am with children under your gaze. I'd prefer you didn't notice that I save the meals I cook best for when your present. I'd prefer that you just thought my cooking was consistently great.

It's frustrating that my funniest jokes come off awkward when your near me, so you probably shouldn't love me for that, you probably should not remember those jokes at all, just remember how good I am with the children...

It's tiring being me, the version of me that you'l love anyway. I'm not sure I want to be with someone who will love me without all the extra effort I make to dress it up. To quote Groucho Marx 'I just don't want to belong to any club that accepts me a member.'
I'm tired of giving you all the reasons in the world to love me, I'm fed up of putting my best foot forward and attempting to play to my strengths. That's all long.

It's much easier when I know exactly why you love me and what I have to do to keep your love, To not have to scan myself for what may cause you to fall out of love.

Long.

Who I am changes when I'm around you, one day you'l figure that out. So I want you to love me for my money, for me, in terms of my net worth. There's no better reason to love me, not really.
It's simple straight forward and will save us a lot of time, posturing and backtracking.

Just love me for my money honey.

Truly then, I will work for love.



Poem.

Love Me For My Money.

There's a lot of different reasons to love, or be loved,
reasons which, a lot of grieving goes in to find out.
Some things are bait, some things are vague
there's some things that some cannot wait to say...
'I love her for her smile', 'him for his ambition'
'love him for his style', she's a woman of vision'
some think they love off of some inner-intuition
soul-mate type love like spiritual collision

but the shallow and the honest are the same.
they love the good looks, the money and the fame
they love for something they can get from and can gain
an give back as much as they can offer, to make it a fair exchange
so don't love me for perishable qualities and things that change
love me for my net income, salary and my change.
And I mean REAL love, In-Love type love which they claim
is deeper than material things but what the hey...
God forbid i'm ever broke our love can still crack-on
Cos we'll have all that other stuff for us to fall back on.

:)

Love you too Beu.

HEAVEN SCENT

Something smells good.

Real good.

i'm moving to it.

I’m a daydreamer by nature, its a big part of what makes me, me. I did stopped daydreaming for a minute, but I've started again, but with the bonus of actually taking the steps of jumping into it to make it real. I took the time that I used to spend so much of in my head and started using it to do what was in my head. Sometimes I get to the lil’ thinking bit before I sleep and I aint quite sure what bits what between my dreams and reality.

I’m a bit crazy that’s a given, but I genuinely feel the only difference between the two things is just what I have done and what I haven’t done … yet. To some that’s a huge difference, but to me it’s just a case of planning and time. Things can happen so fast that to me, God willing I maintain my health this year, I’m going to walk through my dreams like I’m playing an RPG with a guidebook.


Anyways, what I’m saying is I don’t know whether you should take me literally or figuratively, but I mean what I say, and I say what I mean; for the most part.

Well, getting to it...



I know you may have already begun to think, ‘you talk to much, know your role and shut your mouth!’ Well, to that I say, ‘IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU’RE THINKING JABRONI…’ Sorry, but I mean it. Recently I’ve been thinking of the millions… and MILLIONS of the rocks cash and realised that he didn’t just get where he was out the blue. I don’t know if he- or others like him- ever expected the worldwide acclaim they enjoy but they sure as anything acted as though they believed it. Remember, there’s going to be people who have something to say about anything you do as long as you’re not doing nothing.

I’m a wordsmith, so I have like a million motto’s a recent one being, ‘be humble enough to accept help from anyone, but proud enough to expect it from no one.’ At the moment, I’m tryna help myself, I’m going to accept that help, no matter what I or anyone else can say about me… that’s humility… right? So if you don’t like it, I respect your opinion, but you can take that opinion, turn it sideways…shine it up real nice… ... you know the rest.

It takes a level of undisputed arrogance to seriously consider yourself for anything BIG. You might not consciously go through the thought process, which enables me to describe it like that, but essentially, you are saying; of all the millions of people in the world, many of which also have similar talent or abilities, I think that this ‘role’ should be taken by me. I have something to bring to this situation that no one else could and believe with out a shadow of a doubt, -not knowing even a small percentage of these millions of other people- that the best person for it is myself. That’s some special doses self-assuredness/ confidence in the least. It's necessary though because quite frankly, if you can't get a picture of succeeding in what it is your jumping into before you jump into it… there is not much point jumping!

The rock never actually told us what he was cooking, but 15 years, several movies and world tours later, it’s pretty sure he was cooking something. What’s more, before anyone else did, he must have smelt it. How could he have asked if people could smell it if he hadn't smelt it himself? Matter fact, asking anyone to believe in you or what you’re doing before YOU believe in it is semi-retarded. (I don’t know if I’m supposed to use that word, or if it’s still used. If it bothers you replace with something else, if it offends you, it’s meant to, it’s that simple.)
Do you see what the ‘VoicEofReasoN’ is doing?

Forgive the obvious Dwayne Johnson references, but don’t forget them, I wrote them for a reason after all…

Let me take you to the kitchen, as far as I know we have 5 senses, the main purpose of these senses is to help us navigate and improve the quality of our subsistence or survival, some of us don't use them effectively. Bear with me through the analogy.

We need food to survive, anything that lives, that doesn't get food, dies. I say if you ain’t living your dying. Living (a full and purposeful life) is the win… eating is the win. Let’s equate eating to winning.
You don't eat just once and win the game, no; you have to keep winning, continuously. You don't keep winning just one thing either, that is not a balanced win. Several things go in to the win, sourcing, preparing, and consuming being three.

Not only do we want to win though, we want to enjoy a win. One of the things that give you an indication you are going to enjoy what you eat is your nose.
When you are hungry and you've headed towards your kitchen, the smell of freshly prepared food is enough to whet your appetite, to make you walk towards your win with confidence that something is yours for the taking. Obviously there is the chance that what's being cooked is not for you, in which case that smell is a deceptive, teasing irritant only serving to stir up your hunger even more.

Growing up in my house you had to stake claim to your food to fend of competing 'winners' senses, because if you are not careful, someone WILL eat what you have cooked!

I don't know if I want to decipher all that, but it's in there if you look for it.

Equally, we can use our nose to guide us through certain situations. When we stop using one of our 5 senses for a time, it heightens the others. If we take our time and pay attention to our senses we can actually get a much clearer picture with which to make our decisions, trust your senses. Why do you think we have phrases like, 'something’s fishy'? Well basically, if something smells bad its normally an indicator that something is bad, when food goes of its smells bad, when things die they smell bad, throw up and faeces smell bad. Your unwashed armpit stinks. Ironically fish is good for you, WHEN it is prepared and cooked, smelly raw fish can do you some serious illness so once again... trust your senses.

Not everything that smells good is good, just like not everything that glitters is gold, you do have to be Sensible with it. Generally though your senses do serve as a good barometer to what is going to be good for us. For instance, how many people sit and deliberate when there sense tell them that they need to go to the toilet, or the water coming out of the shower is too hot and you might wanna jump back... NOW! Nope, certain times we tend to listen to our senses other times, we totally ignore it. Saying stupid stuff like, the signs were there... I should have seen it coming!

Well, me, I'm liking what my senses are telling me at the moment, I’m liking what's in the air and I’m reaching for it. You should have gathered by now that I've used the smelling sense as an umbrella for all of the 5 senses. What I have not been speaking about are emotions, emotions can sweep you, or knock you off your feet to the point that you ignore you're senses. Knowing what's good or bad for you and letting a feeling over-ride what you know is the sensible response to it isn't the money! Yes emotions most definitely have there place, but that's a different blog, a different day, I have already amassed enough words in this one.

If you understand what I have written you will understand this simple formula. Pray it, plan it, and then follow your senses. It's a win. That's why I'm a winner.

But concluding all of this jargon?... wisdom?... stuff?!? Just remember emotions are great and have their own amazing little purpose that isn’t to be ignored. That’s why I mess’ with emotions, sometimes. But more time, most of the time, when something happens or doesn’t you can ‘smell it coming before hand. You wont always get it right but you can learn that. For me, am smelling days of heaven on earth so I’m boldly walking towards it, I’m claiming it loudly too so every time I get there cant nobody tell me it aint for me neither.

I don’t know what’s ahead of you, and I aint normally gonna have my nose in your kitchen, but seeing as you got your own. Close your eyes for minute make the senses extra strong.

Can you smell it?

Can you smell it?

Can you SMMEEEEELLLLLLL, what it is that you’re cooking?

.................................................................................................................................................................
TO GIVE ME a reason to proof read i will now normally read my writing and give myself 5minutes to write a poem which summarises what i understand from it... Here's it...

Heaven scent... The poem

Breathe Deep before you ‘go in’,
Sumfin smells good.
Exhale just as you zone in.
Sumfin smells good.
Delight in life, in living. Revisit your favourite vision
Then plan ahead stop missing what could be ur new beginning

When sumfin smells fishy, take ur steps with caution
Cos only fools and horses, find a fortune in the auction.
Live a little love a lot. Look up, look to look hot.
Look for your favourite spot. Find it, keep it, get it got.

When following senses. Do not leave urself defenceless
Cos feelings are pretentious , leaving u falling of fences
With indecisive and imprecise, crisis enlightment.
Define it like a psychic whose story telling is cyclic.
So round in circles you go, following scents in ur nose.
Been walking columns and rows.
Misunderstanding my prose.
just cos it smells pretty doesn’t mean it taste nice.
The Bolognese was gritty but the cook just added spice
Your stories always being written, you choose how you tell it.
Sumfins, surely bout to happen for ya, can you smell it?

When Things Go Wrong.

Nobody prays for it, but one of life’s inevitabilities is, that try as we might prevent it, things will at some point go wrong. Life is full of ups and downs and its no news to anybody that on the whole, you’ve gotta take the bad with the good. Still though, people often don’t take the bad too good.

I’m feeling all life skill oriented at the moment… so… lemme help you get your mind right…

There will always be something that can turn up and potentially steal your joy. Sometimes there doesn’t even have to be a thing. It might just be the way you woke up, anything. You might just be in one of those moods on one of those days.

Usually, at the far end of things when there is actual pain or misery derived from what you are dealing with. It’s a pain that is attached to us at first by our subconscious and our conscious mind. As you know, pain is our brains way of telling us that we don’t like what’s happened to us and/ or it wasn’t good for us so it gives you pain so that you don’t do it again.

Even when it’s emotional ‘pain’ it’s just like the pain you receive when you put your hand too close to the fire.

Think about it, when your hurt about something, -unless you’re the type who wallows in their pain-, do you tell yourself to feel bad, or find it difficult to eat or sleep or similar?
No.

What has happened is your conscious mind at some point let your subconscious know that what ever hurt you was important, normally by making it subject of much of your focus. It may be an exam you were preparing for, or an outcome you were waiting on. The more you thought about it the more it stuck to your subconscious, Attatching with it all the associated feelings you placed next to it’s success or failure.

So when the thing goes wrong, even when you’re over the initial shock or disappointment, your subconscious mind is still dealing with it. Trying to alarm your whole body that the important thing has gone wrong and at the moment, it’s chief priority is to consistently remind you of this, which will explain why you cant, shake the feeling even when you would like to.

After all you spent so much time feeding it with whatever the thing was when you wanted it to go right, now you’re subconscious is just repaying the favour.

When this happens though, there is a sure fire way to quickly beat the problem.

First of all, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Satisfy your subconscious by submissively/ but naturally allowing yourself to actually respond to the upset that you are feeling. However, it’s important to consciously remind yourself that you are ‘allowing yourself to feel this’, keeping you in control.

Also keep firmly in mind that you will not allow yourself to feel this forever. In fact, identify in your mind what you feel would be a reasonable amount of time to feel upset by it. In this time you can think about what went wrong and be upset or whatever. Then when you get about half way into that time, start to make a plan of action in which you actively attempt to reverse whatever the issue is. Think of a few ACHIEVEABLE outcomes that would turn the bad situation into a good one and map it out in your mind. Don’t do anything with it yet; just build the map as clearly and concisely as you can.

Then do something NOW, which will make you FEEL happy. NOW! Just do it. Eat, exercise, dance, get some air, talk to a human being, watch a comedy... anything that makes you feel good. I recommend getting up and doing something as a pose to a movie under a duvet. Getting your blood flowing releases natural chemicals in your body, which naturally make you feel good.

Doing this should actively conquer whatever feeling you had about whatever went wrong. What’s more you’ll have done it in a way that is not just bottling up things as a coping mechanism short term neither have you just repressed what you have being feeling. What you have done is dealt with the situation and associated feeling on three different and very important levels.

Firstly you have allowed yourself to ‘grieve’ and thus allowed yourself freedom of expression and the opportunity to actually mark your ‘sadness’ as a pose to glossing other it.
Then, by planning a course of redemptive action, you have given yourself practical steps which will satisfy your subconscious helping your brain to stop reminding you how bad things are as there is a path to something as good or better.

You’re subconscious can get out of panic mode when it can identify an achievable positive solution. This will stop you feeling down or helpless about the situation and give some good old-fashioned positive hope. This is only enhanced when you get up and get your pheromones flowing, instantly making you feel good about yourself, knocking away the current bad feeling and enhancing your anticipation about whatever plans you’ve made.

Wonderbar!!!

Bad things will always happen, and if you wait for them to fix themselves before you allow yourself to feel good. Then not only will you be feeling bad for an unquantifiable amount of time, but you’ll also be ‘hella-pissed’ when you realise life isn't waiting for your ‘bad situation’ to fix itself and something else as bad or worse comes along.

Ever felt under the weather and that the hits just kept on coming? Yeah, thought so!

I say stay ahead of the game, and keep a smile on your face by taking things head on and realising that while situations may vary and seem wildly different. The associated feelings are often the same. Frustration is frustration whether you haven’t got a job after 5 years searching, or you delete all your phone contacts… or your car wont start.

Sure they vary in degrees, but the root feeling is the same. Anger is anger, sorrow is sorrow, and glee is… a television show.

So realise whatever you feel you’ve probably felt it before at some level and you’ll probably feel it again. So knowing that time WILL heal and the feeling WILL pass, why spend longer in the feeling than you need to. A little perspective goes a long way, so when things go wrong, just know that your just ‘perspective’ away, from putting things right!

Life get’s better the longer you live it, so long as you better the life that you live.
Peace

Hold tite you.

Big up yourself, your large!

Yeah, you.

You're a top guy, girl, person. A genuine gem.

This is for you because you don't always get the recognition you deserve, or the incentive to keep you as you are.

Just a few of the things I salute you for are below;

You're an optimist who seeks out the best in people and finds it where others can't even be bothered to look. You don't use what they say to make your judgement. You use what you experience, then you test it, again and again. Just in case you'd gotten it wrong as you don't want to hastily put it down as a negative.

In fact in finding negative you're inspired to search deeper for the good. YoU are not a fool! You are a rare and fantastic human being.... you're wired differently.... you're wired correctly.


You're not fussed or moved by the he-say she-say. You're not mad because he's an attention seeker, or she's a  big mouth. You're cool with the fact they are not perfect and people with delusions of grandeur don't irk you. You wish them well and move it along. You wish them well and mean it.

You trust until you're trust is betrayed, believe until you're lied to and leave yourself vulnerable to heartbreak. Too brave to close up. Too real to fake. Too unconcerned by what they/ we say or think about your kindness, niceness, openness.


You leave people more often than not with smiles not frowns, good news not bad, edification and not despairing negativity. You're alright you.


You forgive my worst actions and forget my worst states. You build up, not tear down, you make me wanna be better!

You don't need the conspiracy theories, you see what's right with things before what's wrong with them. Be it people, institutions, situations or anything else, their weakness' are not you're talking points. What you can't fix you accept.

You do you, confidently, emphatically, wonderfully well and also cautiously, embarrassingly and woefully bad. But because you are a human, of the honest, real variety.

You fail because you try, and therefore win, for the same reason.

You work tirelessly when no-one is looking to effortlessly be what those who look, see.

You unashamedly think and act as you do. shining, fading and then shining once more. Not perturbed by failures, mistakes and/ or things they know.

You believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts. You happen to believe in people.

You're a star because you look to add to yourself without taking from others, as well as enlarging others without shrinking yourself.

You're better than you think you are, you know, and there's more in there.

When you know it you'l be even greater.

Cloud £9M

My name is Deola Sulola.

And I JUST WON £10.54 million!!!

Naturally, i'm pretty excited about it. When i first got the little e-mail on my blackberry that The National Lottery has  'some news about my ticket'. I went back to bed, I know the drill, I probably won £10, £20 or maybe even £80. Nice I suppose, but nothing to crack the laptop open for.

Life resumed as usual.

I guess it's fair to say that it only served to make things even more immense when I finally logged in to be told I'd won the jackpot. how do you pronounce R. E. S. U. L. T!

The odds, in the millions. but, someone seems to win every week and there has been a lot of weeks in my life. so erm, this ones mine!

It's hard to describe the feeling as it starts to sink in, the knot in your stomach as it tightens and loosens simultaneously or the waves of guilt and nausea which give a way to genuine fear.

'things like this don't happen to me... something bad must be around the corner?!? 

Well, when i'm at a loss in life (haha loss!!) or if i'm in an unknown or unfamiliar situation. I like to create a reference point and map my way out. Here, my only yard stick was that I have always told myself in countless thoughts that on the day of my first million. I will go out 'running and screaming and throwing up everywhere'! 

I ran. I screamed. I threw up everywhere.

Once the nervous energy is gone, and it really is a lot of nervous energy. Time begins to move really slowly. Like 'Fat man in the cake isle in sainsburys' slow. Nigerian movie (gospel music in the background) timeline transition slow. Titus Bramble slow. 

Its almost impossible to endure with the millions of thoughts (aaahhh £££millions) running through my mind. Cue insomnia, intense privacy and a chronic need to get out of the house.

Everything feels like a test, driving suddenly feels so much more perilous. I dont want to die now, not before i've drank from the platinum cup of sweet wealth. Nostalgia too, kicks in, I find myself looking back at my actions and balancing things off. All the people I hurt, all the things or people that hurt me, all the desperate, dire and broke-minded things i did when penniless. All those times I was there for, or gave to people. Put it all on a scale and...yeah, definitely reckon I was in due credit around £10.54M!!!

After pulling out from my past, and wondering just how fast it would all catch up with me, I begin to look to the future. In honesty, mapping it out and planning ahead are the first things that give me peace about it all. There is a calming assurance that comes with knowing what you want and that you can easily work towards it. I write it here to give myself some accountability, to erm, you. This money will change me, but only in ways that I want it to.

They say money magnifies the man. So if you see me small now, here's what may be all up in your face shortly!.

Well, I have decided I will continue to work, I do a rewarding job where i can make a genuine and tangible impact. Sure I may take time off now and then to contribute time and energy to my other causes. but i wont leave. Infact I will still collect my pay and after my initial spending spree, which will be on a house a car and family donations, I will live off my salary and interest, only.

There are a couple business plans I've made which will also get off the ground. So I'll also have money put aside for that.

I don't think it will be obvious to everyone that i'm filthy stinking rich. I used to think i'd want to have an helicopter sitting on my roof. And that i'd have to buy a second helicopter just so people looking at my house when I'm IN the helicopter wont think i'm 'helicopter-less'. But i wont do that, not immediately, people might think that was over indulgent.

Im going to put away 4million in a high interest bank which I cant touch for 23 years. then i'm going to spend another 4million on Bonds, stocks and T-bills. The other money will be to use as i please, I'll give at least £25K to each household in my family. (I don't want to interfere with their lives, but i want to help... I may try and give them money discreetly so they don't know its from me?) 'Kanye shrug'

I met a Multi-millionaire at work this week and I liked his style. It was a smart, casual and elegant look. which seemed to say "You cannot say for sure how much money I have... but you wouldn't argue with whatever amount i told you!" So yeah, i'm going for that look. 

Eventually I want a tennis court, swimming pool and all round entertainment room, but that's only going to happen once I have used the money to make money off of my own ideas and hard work.

Lottery money is starter money.... it's not really the same... I've got to make mine!

'God bless the child that has his own'

So, my life should be sooo different now, and i guess it is. Still a slave to tiredness, hunger, gravity and the confines of time.

But hey, I have right now what most people spend there entire lives wishing for.

And all i ever crave right now, is the right feeling at the right time and a peaceful life. Things which money isn't always a part of.

But hey, if you've read this far, you're probably really happy for me, right? well, in two weeks time on a Friday I'm going out to celebrate. I really hope you will join me... its gonna be a mad one!! I'll let you know the details soon.

Till then, all the best and remember.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Signing out...

No Time Like The Present.

My name is Deola,

I have been threatening to begin a blog for two years.
I have been aiming to finish writing a book for three years.
I have been preparing to share my works and writings at shows and events wherever they might have me. perennially.
I have been waiting.
Procrastinating.
Wasting.

I can speak with almost as much confidence for the majority of my generation as I can for myself when I say we are a people who like to 'wait for things to happen.'

We are much more reactive than active and for some reaction only stretches as far to mean we go in the direction the wind blows us, which isn't really reaction at all, rather just, lightweight-subconsciential-compliance

If you talk to those around you, whether that be the person dearest to you or the stranger at the bus stop. Chances are they are waiting for something - and not just the bus.

In just how many conversations do we hear or say that we are tired and cant WAIT to go to sleep, that we cant WAIT to leave work, cant WAIT for christmas, or pay day, or dinner time, or ... Eastenders... (shrugs)

Others of us base our feelings on what we are waiting for, we will feel better when we 'find the love of our life' or pursue that dream that we actually have little intention of ever actually pursuing because the fear of failure far outweighs the anticipation of potential success.

Besides, sometimes it's better to have something we can just 'dream' about.

We wait, some of us JUST wait, with little thought or care towards what it is we are waiting for.
Something will change, something will come and break the monotony. If it doesn't, that's ok, we will again just wait. something will happen!

There is a quiet satisfaction about our waiting, which a lot of us would struggle to admit. After all, we go on day by day, often not feeling a day closer to anything that we have been 'waiting' for and yet there is no heightened urgency or increased efforts to bring them about, no thought that  , 'no, maybe this bus doesn't come here...'

It would be easy and on occasion, accurate, to say this is just the product of a lazy, Hollywood induced, fast food cultured generation. A generation void of genuine patience and good old fashioned work ethic.
A generation with so much choice and access available to us we don't know how to 'stick things through.' or ride out the rough patches. Yes all these things play there part in wait and procrastinate mentalities but I think there's a bit more to it, at least for some of us.

Its almost as if we have become too smart, or at least too preemptive for our own good. It's as if we know that             while we like to wait for things that will 'make us happy', we know they wont necessarily make us happy when they arrive. Built within us as children (for those of us who actually got presents) was that steaming anticipation of a gift coming, and then realising upon its arrival, that beyond the initial window of gratitude and glee that came from getting what we wanted. Eventually, we are left with an emptiness that could only be filled by the desire of something else, something more. That this window tends to get shorter and shorter the older we get perhaps partly explains why we struggle to commit to getting the things that we want... for fear we just might get them.

My Bishop, uses a metaphor to describe this, loosely quoted;
 'Peoples dreams are like seeds in their hands. A source of hope... an opportunity; while that seed is in their hands they have something to hold onto, something to believe in and fend of questions regarding what they might have in store for their future.

The problem is to get anything out of a seed you have to plant it. This means facing the reality that there will be a time, often a long one where your hands are empty and there is nothing to show for, nothing to show off. '

Which is quite frightening.

but invariably true.

We wait then, for something to happen with seeds in our hands and soil at our feet. Afraid to reach out and invest our potential. Still hoping, but a ridiculous hope, not quite a false hope because the potential is still there, but a hope deferred. Hopelessly deferred.


The truth is, as I see it, that waiting for an environment to change our demeanour is naive and counter-productive. What is worse is when we cling onto that idea without doing anything that will actually affect that environment.

so what's the solution?

 If there is such a thing.

well, frankly if you want to see something happen or change in your environment, start doing something now. plant the seed today.

if you want to see a change in yourself. Do it now, plant the seed today!

it's such a simple solution to a world of problems, but as you read think of the way you would like to feel in your life right now. why are you not feeling that way?

Its easier than you might think to feel how you want to feel. In the space between your ears you have the powers, just alone through manipulation of suspended-reality, to make your self happy, sad, angry or put yourself in fits of laughter all in the next 5 minutes if you choose to. Why not choose how you feel on a more regular basis?

You'd probably be surprised on how natural it quickly becomes.

Furthermore.

Think of that thing you've been wanting to do... Why, why on earth have you not started it?




I teach maths and mentor young students. Regularly I tell them this.

Maths, like life, is just a series of simple steps that can look complicated when they are together.

i.e if you break every thing down in maths, and indeed in life, to the smallest point. there is a 1+1 step. something you can do that brings you closer to your goals and solving the overall equation.

Find me a truer statement.

I Deola sulola have started my Blog.

What will you start TODAY?


Feel free to comment or whatever it is ppl do on blogs.
Adios,.,